Muddling Through...

Well, we're approaching the 10th month anniversary of my Dad's passing and I'm here to tell you, I'm doing okay. Yeah, it's been HARD. I can honestly say that the first 4-5 months were spent in a numb haze. I felt like I couldn't feel anything, everyone was talking to me from the end of a tunnel and the lights were never truly on in my head. I just couldn't deal. I funneled my efforts into brainless things like games on facebook and food, just to come to terms with the great loss that I had in my life. But the hardest thing was just living. I accomplished that though...I would go through the paces just fine. Dinner was made each night, laundry was done every Sunday and the house was cleaned every week. I did what was "expected" out of me for hopes that I could maintain some normalcy for the kids. I mean, I am pretty anal and organized, after all, I couldn't stop being like that for the sake of the kids just knowing that I wasn't doing too well. ;)

I am so lucky to be blessed with several good friends and unlimited support from my online family on Facebook. Wow, just WOW. I always had someone to pick me up on the days when I had no strength, someone to hug me when I needed to be held, someone to understand when I just needed someone to listen. Despite the loss, I gained so much.

So thank you friends and Facebook buddies...

That said, I think about my Dad every day...and I'm still experiencing movie like visions of him when I really miss him. And boy, do I miss him. I miss his laugh, SO much and I miss his interest in Nate. I miss being able to ask him stupid questions about stuff I don't know about because he just knew everything. But most of all, I miss him with my Mom. What an amazing example they set for me.