The Unraveling of Me

Muddling Through...

2009-12-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

Well, we're approaching the 10th month anniversary of my Dad's passing and I'm here to tell you, I'm doing okay. Yeah, it's been HARD. I can honestly say that the first 4-5 months were spent in a numb haze. I felt like I couldn't feel anything, everyone was talking to me from the end of a tunnel and the lights were never truly on in my head. I just couldn't deal. I funneled my efforts into brainless things like games on facebook and food, just to come to terms with the great loss that I had in my life. But the hardest thing was just living. I accomplished that though...I would go through the paces just fine. Dinner was made each night, laundry was done every Sunday and the house was cleaned every week. I did what was "expected" out of me for hopes that I could maintain some normalcy for the kids. I mean, I am pretty anal and organized, after all, I couldn't stop being like that for the sake of the kids just knowing that I wasn't doing too well. ;)

I am so lucky to be blessed with several good friends and unlimited support from my online family on Facebook. Wow, just WOW. I always had someone to pick me up on the days when I had no strength, someone to hug me when I needed to be held, someone to understand when I just needed someone to listen. Despite the loss, I gained so much.

So thank you friends and Facebook buddies...

That said, I think about my Dad every day...and I'm still experiencing movie like visions of him when I really miss him. And boy, do I miss him. I miss his laugh, SO much and I miss his interest in Nate. I miss being able to ask him stupid questions about stuff I don't know about because he just knew everything. But most of all, I miss him with my Mom. What an amazing example they set for me.

My Dad - George Gallaher

2009-03-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

Several people have asked that I write about my Dad and I thought that now that almost 6 weeks have passed, that it was time to talk about him (well, do the best that I can do without crying). Goodness knows how many people will actually read this, but it's at least a little something out in cyberspace that is about this magnificent and wildly brilliant man.
My Dad was born in 1927 in Pennsylvania. He told many stories about growing up in the rural areas with his Grandpa shooting guns with him. He always knew that he would be in the military and ended up joining the Navy when he was only 17. It was after the Navy that he went to the Army and then to the National Guard. He fought in the Korean Conflict as well. I still remember asking him if he ever got shot when he fought in the war. I remember him laughing when I asked. He then lifted up his shirt, poked his finger into his belly button and said, "I was only shot once and it hit me RIGHT HERE!" and I totally believed him. Keep in mind, I was young...LOL...now I'm not so gullible, but I still love that story. He remained an avid lover of all things guns and continued to collect and sell them well into his later years.
My dad was a staunch Republican. He was convinced that everyone that was a Democrat was a "bleeding heart liberal". I remember taking a test in social science my eighth grade year and it showed that I was more Democrat than Republican and I was so scared to tell my Dad. I grew up being rather "middle of the road" and recall many a fight during my teenage years and early twenties at the dinner table with my Dad over politics. He had very strong views about how things should be. As I age and mature, I'm starting to realize that he had very valid points for a lot of things. But despite our differences, I always respected his opinions.
My Dad was promoted to Sergeant before he left the military, but was demoted to Corporal after punching a Lieutenant. That was my Dad. He was extremely passionate about what he believed in and nothing, no how, was going to change his opinion. I really considered him a "man's man" in that respect...he knew what he wanted, what he believed in and it was up to you to go with it.
After his military career was over, he wondered about what he would do with the rest of his life. He started taking some classes in drafting and started working for the City of LA (his family had moved to Glendale, California during his military tours) in the engineering department. He was talking to a friend who mentioned how easy it was to become a civil engineer because all you had to do was take a test. He asked his friend if there was any trigonometry on the test and he said no, it was so easy! So, my Dad studied briefly and then took the test...only to find that it was full of trigonometry. He was smart enough to figure it all out and ended up getting the highest score in the class. He was officially a civil engineer. After working for the city, he worked for several firms throughout Orange County.
My Dad was married when he was younger and had a son, Michael, in the early 50's. My brother Michael is 19 years older than me. It wasn't until 1969 that he met my Mom. She was working at Pizza Circus in Westminster. She was a single mother and recently divorced. Dad would come in for lunch at least once a week, if not more. His friends would tease him about how he liked my Mom but it wasn't until some time after he started coming in that he finally asked her out. Since she was quite skeptical of men in general after her divorce, so she asked that her kitchen staff wait until he came to pick her up at the restaurant to make sure he was "okay" before they went on their date. Needless to say, he was okay. LOL He was 17 years older than her, but dated exclusively despite him leaving for Panama to do some engineering work. They ended up getting married in 1970. Together, they moved to Irvine (University Park) with Michael and now my Mom's son, Curtis, in tow. Mom got pregnant in 1971 with me and they moved to a larger home on the other side of Irvine (California Homes, now El Camino Glen).
My Dad had told my Mom that he wanted two girls and lo and behold, my sister and I were born, 17 months apart. He was 45 when I was born.
I was quite the "Daddy's girl" when I was young. Daddy was the fun daddy and Mom, was the disciplinarian (Oddly how it is in my house as well...LOL). I recall only a few times when my Dad actually spanked me and I usually deserved it because I sassed him or wouldn't listen. He definitely filled the role of provider for the family. My Mom was a stay-at-home Mom until I was 12 or 13. Dad worked a lot and seemed to be gone a lot for work, that I recall. I still remember grabbing his picture and pleading with it, begging him to come home one time because I was getting in trouble from Mom. LOL
I was always really proud of my Dad. He always provided. Always had a $20 in his wallet to lend to me, without expecting payment back. He had a job that he was good at and respected for. He didn't retire until he was in his 70's because he was still in such demand. I thought the world of him for that...despite how difficult it must have been to be working that late in life. He loved my Mother and deeply respected her, which I always admired. It was so neat to see how they defined "best friends". He would joke and prod her constantly...I recall many a time when a wadded up napkin would be thrown at her from the dinner table to start something with her. He never lost that childish sense in him to "screw around" with the people he loved. But what really sticks out in my mind is that whenever he would come home from work, he would always kiss my Mom as soon as he got home. I loved that.
I had Nate in 1999, but had to go back to work. Dad had since retired. He told me that family raises family and decided that it was best for him to take care of Nate. He provided daycare for Nate for his first 2 years. Now Nate was severely delayed in speech due to being premature and only had a 5 word vocabulary at the age of 2. One of those words was "s**t". How was that? Well, my Dad would call him a "Little S**T" because he was always into stuff. LOL
I always deeply appreciated that my Dad was willing to stop his retirement for 2 solid years to watch and help raise my son. It was during that time that they formed an incredible bond. Nate was literally addicted to my Dad. They would pair up and that was that for the rest of the day. My Dad would sit outside and watch him play, teach him golf (with a specially designed golf club that my Dad made for Nate), shoot BB guns, shred paper together, work in the yard, watch old war movies or talk about the military. It didn't help that Chris, my husband, has a very similar background...Nate is still obsessed with all things military, gun related and war related.
Nicole was born in 2002 and we were finally able to afford it so that I could be a stay-at-home mom. Dad still provided support whenever I needed a break or needed someone to watch the kids. He would always say yes. It was great to know that I had a back up plan whenever I needed it. He always wanted me to keep the kids there or have them spend the night. It was so sweet to see him be a grandpa. It was different growing up with him being a Dad. He defined "provider" and could be emotionally withdrawn at times from me. We had a few rough patches when we fought a lot or I felt he was being overly critical of me. It wasn't until I had kids and saw him with them, that I was truly saw the man that was my father. He was compassionate, kind, loving and generous. He loved my kids so completely.
Dad had a massive heart attack in 2004. I had always been scared of losing him since he was older when I was born and had always grown up with him being older than my friends' dads. It was a huge wake up call for all of us. He miraculously survived the heart attack, having quintuple bypass surgery on my 10 year anniversary with Chris. It took him a while to recover, but he kept his sense of humor, wit and charm throughout.
In August 2008, when he was 81 years old, he had a brain stem stroke. The stroke rendered him paralyzed on the entire left side. He quickly regained most of his facial movement. However, despite constant physical therapy during his rehab stay, he regained little leg and arm movement. He was discharged from rehab in October 2008 and mom became his primary caregiver at home. It was a stressful time for both of them...Mom had to take care of a very demanding patient and my Dad, who was very independent and strong willed, was having to be taken care of. He tried to keep his humor going...we would tease each other constantly. It wasn't until his final stroke the night of 2/10/09 that the end was sooner than we anticipated. My Mom called me frantically on the morning of 2/11 to tell me that Dad was going on hospice. I didn't quite believe it. He had lived through SO much and it was hard to believe that he had another stroke and that it would lead to his demise. The heart attack didn't get him, a brain stem stroke (the most severe kind), didn't get him...why would another stroke be his downfall? When I visited him that day, it was obvious that he was in severe distress...agitated and horribly out of control, unable to speak. It was like getting a huge slap in the face to see this once strong and determined man completely humbled. He could barely talk, could barely control his body, but he looked at me, pointed and said, "You take care of Mom". I knew that he was saying his goodbye to me...saying what he had to say so that I would understand what was expected out of me. As the day grew long and hospice came and sedated him, I brought the kids in to say goodbye. They didn't know what to say or do. It was frustrating for me. I just wanted to crawl into his hospital bed and hold him, begging him not to go. I wanted him there for my kids and for me and for Mom. I remember leaving that night and pretending that he wouldn't really need hospice and that it was just a phase...and I waved goodbye to my Dad from the kitchen and he waved his good arm at me and mouthed the word "bye" but the only sound that came out was "ba". That was the last time I really heard his voice and I keep hearing it in my head.
My sister flew in on Friday and I brought her to him...despite being sedated, his eyes lit up and he had this huge smile on his face. It was heartbreaking as much as it was beautiful to see. It made me feel hope that he would overcome, despite that nagging feeling that perhaps he would not. The day that he died, on Saturday, February 14th....I think I innately knew that he would go that day. I didn't want to get out of my PJs, didn't want to leave my house...but I managed to finally take a shower and get there around 3pm. Dad was completely unresponsive by the time I got there...I think we all knew that it would be his last day with us. I only stayed until 7pm that night because I was tired from only getting 4 hours of sleep the night before. I rubbed my hand on his head and I give him a kiss and said that I would see him tomorrow. In my head, I said that I loved him, but I was too afraid to say it out loud because I felt that if I did, he would die. I got home and got the call at 8:15pm that he had passed away. I was instantly in shock...it was utterly surreal. How could it be that I am 36 years old and lost my Dad?
I drove back to the house and saw him, gone. I needed to see him. I held his hand and I asked him why he had to die. I was mad at him for doing that to me, my kids and mom. I put my hand on his chest and I kept waiting to feel him breathe. It was so hard to understand that he wasn't there anymore. I kissed his forehead and I told him that I loved him, thanked him for being my Dad and setting a good example for me and my kids.
With all of that said, I am happy that my Dad was my Dad. I had a Dad that was strong, resilient and brilliant. I have great memories to share of us driving around in the desert, camping on the hard rocky ground and listening to him snore. I have funny stories to tell that he shared with me and silly songs that we would sing on our car trips growing up. I will miss him greatly, I will miss my Mom the way she was with him, I will miss his big loud laugh, loud sneezes and smart ass comments. I will miss his kisses when I saw him and scratching lottery tickets with him on his birthday each year. I just miss my Daddy.

Honest Scrap Tag

2009-01-03T09:17:00.000-08:00

A) First list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!
B) Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

Ok, well, here I go. I know that no one except Lam will read this, but hell, I'm good at following directions, in fact it's almost a compulsion to follow "the rules" and do what is asked of me...and since I don't nearly satisfy my "need to please gene" enough (yeah right), I figured it was time to post here. I mean, seriously, it's only been, what? 4 or so months? LOL

1) I honestly believe that Xanadu is one of the greatest films made of all time. When you break it down, here are the facts:
a) Olivia Newton-John has one of the most amazing and angelic voices ever
b) A dancing and singing, not to mention, roller-skating, Gene Kelly!
c) Amazing special effects from laser beams...this was just after Star Wars came out and the effects were before their time!
d) Roller skating! Need I say more?!?!?
e) Time travel, Gods and Muses all in the same movie...nice.
See, so there are more reasons to LOVE this movie than to loathe it, so watch it (for the record, I just got the commemorative Xanadu DVD collection for Christmas and I can't wait to get the time to watch it, with Nicole...because she NEEDS to know what Xanadu is and what it's all about and there is only one cuss word in it!)!!!

2) I am grossly overweight and I feel like I'm victimized by food. I feel obligated to eat, even when I'm not hungry. It's like there is a time clock in my head that says, it's BREAKFAST, EAT. It's LUNCH, EAT. It's DINNER, EAT. NOW. I eat when I'm sad, happy, because I feel entitled, because I want it, because I don't want it or shouldn't eat it, because I think it will taste good, because I want to try it, because I'm bored, because there's a movie on and because, because, because. I will finish my plate even if I'm full, I will finish my kids' plates as to not to waste. I have a serious problem...and I think it's because the core of my being is unhappy.

3) I have a serious problem with not being liked. I feel like I am never good enough to be someones friend or do enough when I AM their friend.

4) I have faith that there is a God, but it waivers so much that I end up worrying myself that I can't sleep. I ponder it over and over again about how we got here and I start to cry whenever I think about the prospect of there being no God or heaven or way of finding out loved ones after they have passed. I used to keep myself up at night until 5 in the morning thinking about this when I was 9 years old...and I still do, occasionally.

5) I laugh too much at stuff...it makes people think I'm dumb. But believe it or not, I have an IQ of 141 which is higher than average, but I feel dumb around many people in my life. I laugh at a lot of things because I see past the words just spoken; I laugh at the tone, delivery, facial expression and context. I have heard a variety of opinions about this...some people find it refreshing that I laugh so much and think they are natural born comedians around me and some are just flat our annoyed by it. Oh well.

6) I automatically feel that people don't like me when they meet me. That I have to earn their approval of me and that I will never measure up to their expectations of a person. I have always felt that I was on the outside of everything...and that people forget about me, constantly. I am not the one that is always invited to the parties or have friends dropping emails or notes because they were thinking about me, but I am the one they trust to babysit their kids, come to for advice or just listen to their problems. I have often pondered if there is a stamp on my forehead that says "Welcome Mat, wipe your feet here".

7) I think that my husband has fallen out of love with me, but respects me and loves what he thought I once was, that he stays out of obligation. Of course, he denies all of this.

8) I wish I was a more creative and adventurous person. People say that I am, but I think that they don't know me very well if they assume that about me.

9) I am very judgemental. I don't mean to be, but I hold myself to such high standards, but I end up expecting that out of a lot of people too. I need to stop that crap.

10) I have to say that I wish I was more bonded with my kids, other than the basics...food, shelter, clothing and motherly guidance. I feel like I have nothing in common with them and they are these separate entities from me. I think that this stems from the fact that I am utterly and completely under appreciated at home. Even my own husband leaves his crap around for me to clean up...no one cleans up after themselves unless I remind them to. No one does what they are supposed to do, unless I ask them to. I don't do everything for them, but I have to remind them to do everything...they forget to clean their rooms, pick up their shoes, how to take showers, make their beds and this is EVERY day. I am starting to feel like I am the only one that cares and this bothers me. My son doesn't care about school or any effort it takes to succeed. I don't want to raise apathetic children, but it appears as if they maybe innate for them. I am saddened by this.

The following 7 bloggers are tagged to tell their 10 truths:
Beki: Truly one of the most articulate and phenomenal people I have ever met, who's clever opinion of the world and what surrounds her, always impresses me. Not to mention, her amazing talent with anything crafty and love for her children.
Laurie: I feel blessed that I have her in my life, so complex, so amazing, just like a bag of trail mix...it takes a ton of different things to make it all taste good.
Jenni: Someone this amazing makes everything she says interesting to read
Fawn: Because she needs to update her blog and I never hear from her anymore...
Randa: Because I love and adore her, mostly because she gets me, never judges me and always laughs AT me.
Jen: For the love of goodness, update your place! LOL
Kim: With so many kids, you have nothing but admiration for her insight and ability to just love, with so much enthusiasm!

I've always wanted to be president...

2008-08-28T18:21:00.001-07:00

My friend did this for me...I had the BEST laugh over it!!!! click HERE

I'm a dancing freak!

2008-01-30T19:47:00.001-08:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Project Runway-Whoa is Chloe

2006-03-09T23:01:00.000-08:00

Now, I have been a HUGE Project Runway fan since the first season. I have never missed an episode and watch it like a religion. I even marked my calendar with big red letters so that I would remember the debut of the second season last year.

I have to say, overall, I was pretty disappointed in the decision to make Chloe the winner. I have to say that there were some ingenious sparks that I saw in the beginning of the season, but as the season progressed, I saw her frustration and road blocks more than I saw that original spark. I will say that her dress in the "nature" challenge was ingenious (and I felt the clear cut winner over Daniel). I was an original Santino Rice fan because I thought that his first two projects were just fantastic, beyond words....but as the season progressed, his demons started to show and it wasn't pretty. With exception to his Tim Gunn impressions, he was downright mean (which the impressions were technically "mean" but also extremely funny, classic...and always left me in stitches-no pun intended).

Now I am no fashion maven. I'll just get that in the open right now. But I do know what the common person finds acceptable but Chloe's line was not that impressive. And I wanted to like it. I was actually feeling bad for her because I thought she didn't have a chance in hell to win after seeing Daniel and Santino's collections. Now, I wasn't all that happy with Daniel's collection either...I didn't see the military/asian fusion thing either. Regardless, his performance over the course of the season was flirting with genius more often than not and I figured that he was the frontrunner in the eyes of the judges. As for Santino, if the decision was based *only* on the collection, despite what they said about safe (which I wanted to smack Nina and Michael with a sewing machine...after harping on Santino all season for never following directions, they then harp on his for being too safe...don't get that), I thought it was beautiful. The dresses, though ill fitting in the upper chest area, were delicate, flowing and the colors were appealing and delicate. I was beyond impressed and I wanted to hate it. I guess that's what they meant by safe...if it would appeal to an overweight stay-at-home mom then it wasn't meant for the fashion world.

Flash 'em if you got 'em

2006-02-23T10:05:00.000-08:00

Today on my way to the gym, I was stopped behind this truck. Etched on the mudflap in an obvious homemade fashion were the words:

FLASH A TRUCKER
GIRLS!

Thank you for your cooperation.

The Driver

I about DIED. I was laughing so hard, couldn't believe it. I was going to flash him my middle finger, but after seeing how old, overweight and grey bearded he was, I figured he had enough problems...seeing some boobs probably would make his day. LOL

Personalized License Plates

2006-01-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

Ok, I really don't have a right to complain about this....seriously. If you want to throw away perfectly good money just to have a vanity plate on your car, that's your choice. I shouldn't knock you for it. But for the life of me...if you're going to do that, at least entertain me with it. I hate having to sit there wondering what the heck you're trying to say and then once I figure it out, feel utterly depressed and uninspired because your message is lame. Not to mention, the tons of plates I can't figure out do nothing but infuriate me while I stare helplessly at your plate.

I remember there was this one lady who's car plate had something on it and all I could figure out was "wave"...so I asked her about it finally because I couldn't figure out what the rest of it was (it was long ago, I have since forgotten what the plate originally said completely)...she told me that it was a specific type of weaving that was complicated to do, but she did it. I was pretty unimpressed with that. Why someone that lives in a run down apartment with an old dinged up car, feel it necessary to spend money on a personalized plate that NO ONE (and she told me no one has ever figured it out) could figure out and it was about stupid weaving. LOL Well, priorities, I guess.

Breakouts and Waxing

2006-01-15T00:17:00.000-08:00

Do you ever break out after a wax?

I have heard all sorts of ways to fix this, from icing and witch hazel to timing your waxes and all I'm wondering, what REALLY works?

I tried the timing thing and so far, that's really gave me some results. I heard, if you time them to be exactly 3 weeks apart, you will no longer break out. By the 6th week, I had relatively NO break out after my wax. I went 5 weeks between that wax and this next and it was break out city.

I think that sucks, personally. You are damned if you do, damned if you don't really. Get your wax to get rid of the hair and you get a zit in almost every place a hair was...don't, and you're a hairy monster.

WHAT TO DO?

The Bee Tree

2006-01-06T23:54:00.000-08:00

IWhen I was 9 or 10, my brother used to work the neighborhood paper route with his best friend (and total hottie) that I had a mad crush on. I remember trying to impress him (keep in mind of my age) by showing him that I could lay on my back and prop my butt up in the air to do air bicycle exercises. Ok, keep laughing...because it gets better. As I'm doing this, some bee flying by decides that it doesn't like my feet in the air and lands on my foot and stings me (this always creates fun trivia about my life...I tell people that I was stung on the bottom of my foot but I didn't step on a bee, how did I get stung? Many a person has wasted entirely too much brain power to figure out...LOL). My foot got so swollen...almost three times its size. My Mom was freaking out because the swelling wouldn't go down, leaving my foot in water with epson salt for about 2 hours.

Now, I'm wondering....am I allergic to bees? I've seen people get stung. I've never seen them get swollen like I did. How do you find out if you're allergic unless you get stung?

Regardless, now I have this deep inset fear of bees and when I do my walk in the morning, I go under this huge weeping willow tree that is INFESTED with bees. It's so bad that when you're about 30 feet away from it, you can hear the buzzing...and that continues until you're on the other side of it and walking away another 30 feet or so. I get so scared to walk under the tree.

Last year, one of the bees from that tree landed on my daughter's cheek. I went ape trying to get that thing off of her. I have a funny story about that too. I must have looked like a freak.

I
Hate
Bees.

Who Were You in High School?

2005-12-30T21:13:00.000-08:00

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain.

You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

Who Were You In High School?

Hello After Christmas Sale!

2005-12-26T15:24:00.000-08:00

I heard the angels singing alright, as soon as my fat ass got out of bed and shut my alarm off.

Yes. Today is the day after Christmas.

Now when I was a kid, I didn't care so much about December 26th. But as an adult, it's my new favorite day of the year.

It's the day that I get to wake up early, drive the streets at 6:30 am while most people are asleep in their beds (wisely, I might add...not to mention....less people to be in my way when I'm looking for deals) , get my very rewarding cup of coffee at Starbucks and find a relatively good spot at Target, eagerly awaiting the doors to open at 7am.

This year, I had the priviledge of going with my friend Debbie. I don't usually get a friend to dare to wake up that early, but this year we went together and I saw the benefits of working in a team. That means, we had rotating "cart watch" shifts, 2 extra pairs of eyes to look for the "must haves" and someone to watch your back if some crazy deal whore starts getting an attitude. I did see quite a few people going in pairs. Like I said, it works. We managed to find plenty of great stuff. My favorite things to get are the holiday greeting cards of course. I got each box of 18 cards for $3.49. And I like them. LOL See, for me, deals aren't just about a good price, it's about liking what I'm getting too. I don't buy things just because they are cheap! LOL

Anyway, fun was had by all and I spent my usual amount, but at 50% off, that just means I didn't spend double that amount. My husband has to be happy about that. ;)

Peeve

2005-12-23T17:05:00.000-08:00

I have a peeve.

Perhaps this is rather ninny of me, but I don't care.

What is seriously up with people that eat by themselves in a booth? I have never gotten that and personally, I think it's rather rude. I used to eat by myself a lot when I was a teenager because at work, when we would get our lunch breaks, we weren't allowed to go together. So, we would venture out solo and I would grab lunch and eat at a side table with 2 chairs by my lonesome, trying to read something so it looked like I actually chose to eat alone. But it's not like I walked over to a booth, meant for up to 4 people and settled in while I watched countless families trying to squeeze a bunch of tables together while wrestling kids and food trays.

I just think that's plain out rude. If you're alone, sit at a table meant for 2 people. Booths are for people with more than 1. Be considerate.

Driving in California

2005-12-18T22:55:00.000-08:00

See, this is funny to me because I am a born and raised Californian. However, I am constantly amazed on how Californian's seem to adapt all the driving rules to their own needs. I guess they are more subjective than concrete, but eh, what do I know? So far the rules that I have seen that are newly adapted are (in no particular level of importance):

1. A car that is backing up has the right-of-way
2. Blinkers are always optional
3. You do not need to slow down to turn a corner
4. The line to stop at a red light is on the other side of the crosswalk, not in front of it
5. Pedistrians never get the right-of-way
6. Whenever a light is not working at an intersection, just go whenever you feel like it. There is no right-of-way!
7. You have to go 15-20 miles over the speed limit at all times
8. Slow traffic is supposed to be in the left lane
9. Using a cell phone while driving makes you a more alert driver
10. Everyone needs to get our of YOUR way

Hey nose picker!

2005-12-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

I am forever reminded of that one Seinfeld episode when he was shouting, "it was an scratch, not a pick!" (or something along those lines) when he was caught "picking his nose" while driving. I have found myself in the same precarious position, one way or another, since my face is always itching, I'm always touching it or something and I know that at one point, someone *thought* I was picking my nose, but I really wasn't. Regardless, today while we were stuck at yet another fantastic and wonderful red light in Southern California (what else is new), my husband looks over at the driver next to us and says, "Pick a winner man! No seriously, Judi, look at this...this guy is DIGGING all the way up, he's knuckling it, no seriously!" and my stomach was in turmoil as it was from some stupid bug that I have and I glanced over as if not to pry, and it even made me feel worse. Now, I'm all for nose picking...it's entertaining to say the least if you're bored, but this guy was serious about his business. I have seen countless people over the years (and may I point out, 98% of them have been men) pick their noses behind the wheel, but I have NEVER seen this before.
The guy was manic about picking this nostril, digging in so deep that he definitely was knuckling it, wiggling his finger with such ferocity that it was startling. He must have had a deep one.

Show Off Mom

2005-12-01T23:34:00.000-08:00

My daughter is in preschool. Now, I've encountered my share of annoying and boastful mothers in my day, but this woman seriously takes the cake. Today, we were looking over the presentation chart for where the kids are going to stand for their holiday program on Saturday. My daughter is all the way on the end, to the left (which didn't surprise me because she refuses to sing and at3 years old, I don't really want to expect all that much out of her)...but since her daughter is just *so* special in every way, when I point out to her where her daughter is going to be, she states, "oh good the middle, the most perfect place"...oh ok, so I guess no one else's kids deserve that space as much as *she* does, eh? This woman slays me...she is constantly talking about how brilliant her daughter is in every way. On the first day of class, she encouraged her daughter to go write her name in front of everyone so that the mother could hear all the "wow's" to stroke her own ego. It was obvious the daughter was hesitant to do so, but she did. I don't get mom's that want to do that to their kids...they aren't performance animals....geez! So, I try to avoid her daily...but lately, she's been trying to talk to me...perhaps I have the most virgin of ears when it comes to hearing all about how great he kid is. LOL

Down With The Fat Girl!!!

2005-12-01T18:11:00.000-08:00

I'm still going to post here for random life stuff, but I started a new weight loss blog because I thought it would be fun. I'm really happy with the way it's turning out and would love for you to visit. To visit, click on the title....I called it "Down with the fat girl"...LOL

Fat Girl

2005-11-29T21:42:00.000-08:00

You know, I have gained all but 20 pounds back of my astounding 45 pound weight loss. Why? Well, I maintained it for one year. Then I quit smoking. I gained 15 pounds back from practicing the "ice cream replacement therapy". I am excited that I am 14+ months smoke free but my ass could look better. I gained another 10 from night snacking (my guilty pleasure). I finally called it and I'm just done. I'm done being the fat girl anymore. I stopped my night snacking tonight. I'm starving right now and it's 9:45pm. So, I'm drinking water. I'll be up all night going to the bathroom, but hopefully it will be all worth it.

BTW, how much does it suck to hit 33 and see your metabolism totally fade? I work out for an hour a day, 5 days a week, and you would NEVER know it.

2005-11-27T22:54:00.000-08:00

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Ok, this is scary. That has to be the most accurate personality test I have ever taken...not to mention, the SHORTEST. I seriously sat back in my seat and scratched my noggin over those results.

Hallow Christmas?

2005-11-26T00:51:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving came and went entirely too quickly. With Black Friday and all the hype about Christmas, it's as if Thankgiving is just in the way between Halloween and Christmas anymore. Kind of makes me sad since Thanksgiving is one of my most favorite holidays. I actually look forward to turkey, stuffing, gravy...all that jazz...and most of all, family.

So, I'm just going to start calling Thanksgiving Hallow Christmas because that's just what it is any more. By Halloween, Christmas decorations are already being sold in the stores. I have my kids talking my ears off about what they want from Santa before Halloween is even here.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was fun, my Mom's turkey was so juicy that when you bit into the turkey, you could taste the juice. Fantastic.

My Red Cross Story

2005-11-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

For years, I have been a member of the Red Cross, making donations. Every month, I get an email from Red Cross, encouraging me to donate again...and many of them include cute or inspiring stories about people that donate and why they do, or stories about people that receive donations. Now, I thought my story was pretty inspiring and though I enjoyed the emails, they made me feel a little ping in my belly...I wanted to share my story too. I finally found a place on their website that said, "Share your story", so I clicked on the link and emailed them my story:

In 1999, while pregnant with my first child, it was determined that I had HELLP syndrome, a potentially fatal complication with pregnancy that could take my life, as well as, the life of my unborn son. I was whisked into emergency surgery to give birth to my son to save both of our lives as my condition had worsened. During surgery, I was put under general anesthesia and given two pints of infused platelets as the condition of my pregnancy does not allow the blood to clot and platelets are needed to keep me from bleeding out during surgery. I was very lucky to successfully survive surgery due to the infusion of platelets that I received. After a lengthy NICU stay, my son, who was born at 29 weeks, lived as well and is a thriving 6 year old. In 2002, while pregnant with my second child, I unfortunately suffered the same fate and went into emergency surgery again to save my daughter, who was born at 33 weeks. Again, I received 2 pints of infused platelets to keep me from bleeding out on the table. This time, my situation was much more grave and despite the infusion of one pint, the bleeding would not stop...so they had to medi-vac up more platelets to keep me alive...AND IT WORKED! I'm living proof that blood donation SAVES LIVES and I am eternally grateful for the selfless donations that saved my life and gave me back to my family and children. My daughter survived her stay in the NICU and is a thriving 3 year old.

On the 1 year anniversary of my daughter's birth, I celebrated her birthday by giving back and gave my first donation of blood on May 31st, 2003. Come to find out, my blood is positive for CMV and I am giving back to numerous premature babies. Such an ironic twist! I have wanted to donate platelets, but every nurse begs me to keep donating my blood instead since CMV is so precious and needed....so I have, 5 times to date and I have encouraged 7 other people to donate with my inspiring story, all of which have, and numerous times to boot! I am so grateful for the Red Cross, which continues to inspire and preserve. Thank you!

Anyway, they responded...and in a huge way! The PR department at the Red Cross asked if me and my family would like to be in their nationwide publications, pictures and story. I was flabbergasted, what a gift! I have always been a huge campaigner for the Red Cross with blood donations myself, plus I have encouraged others to donate. I couldn't believe it. When I met with the lady from the PR department, she asked if I could speak on behalf of the Red Cross at public events. I was astounded. This is so huge! Today we're going down to the beach to take promotional pictures with my entire family. I'm so excited!

Belly Button Lint

2005-11-11T22:26:00.000-08:00

Ah, the maiden voyage...I HATE doing the first post of anything. Mostly because it sets the tone of everything else to come. If it's too dreary, everyone thinks you're manic and depressing, too excited and people think you're on a cheerleading squad made for one. I would much rather just be me, but that's not too interesting either.

So, that said...

I just want to write about things that make me the person that I am. The daily things, the things that impact me, the things that just are in my life. That would be...

Chris, husband of almost 11 years.
Nate, son of 6 years.
Nicole, daughter of 3 years.

We live a pretty normal life in Southern California. Nothing spectacular. On the surface anyway. But that's why I made this blog too, because things always look just fine until you start to unravel it! LOL Dang, I can't believe I got SO cheesy in the first post.